Is there anyone who can help me out of this nightmare ? I’ve tried and tried . For not being emo anymore . But … Seriously .. ! I can’t do it .. ! What’s wrong with me ?? Am I never meant to be happy ? I had a fight with my mom just now . I don’t mean it . But don’t know why . She suddenly shout at me without any reasonable reasons . I mean , just because I’m in my period which make me moody sometimes , and I accidently mad at my 9 year old sister for being rude at my 3 year old sister . She deserves it .. ! She’s the one who started it .. ! I was giving her a lesson by just mad at her . I mean , I just shout at her . Not much than that . Then why my mom suddenly shout at me like a mad person ?  She ones said that I can be mad at my sisters if they did something wrong . And I am .. ! But why the hell did she .. ??? URG .. !

Where’s the love ? Where’s the happiness ? I’ve been searching for it like .. 1 year ? C’mon .. ! Is this real life ? Full of madness ? But why sometimes I saw lots of people having great time with their family ? While mine ? What is this all about ? Family War ? Wanna see who’s better ? Wanna see who’ll success in their life ? Wanna make themselves feel bigger than the other by mad at them ? Kill them inside ? Having a big fight ?

Seriously .. !!!! I need someone noow .. ! Someone where I can share my problems with . I wanna share my problems with my friends . But will they understand me ? I’ve promised myself for not being emo anymore this year . Yup , That’s my BULLSHIT determination which won’t come true . I don’t think so that my friends like it when they know that I’m still emo . I’ve been hiding this feeling since … Since .. I don’t know . All this fakeness .. I know that it won’t last long . But if this is the best way .. Then , I have no choice ..