PMR batch 98
Assalamualaikum .
So after weeks of waiting finally the results came out .
I'm not the kind of person who is generous all the time . I lost my temper sometimes without any reason . I'm imperfect , make lots of mistakes . I did the opposite of what my parents told me . And people tend to hate me upon my flaws .
I break down a lot . Cry every night thinking about those stupid and unthinkable action I did . It makes me feel like I just wanna dissappear from people sights because I'm ashamed of myself .
I don't call myself brilliant or clever because sometimes I find it hard to understand a subject completely . I hate homeworks . I like games . Play them almost everyday without fail .
Friends . I have few ones that are close . But I treat them badly . I'm not even a good friend . Not to mention I'm a very bad child . Ha , and a terrible sibling . I beat my sister up like lots of times . I don't hate her . But it was always like that since we were little . We never like each other . But we don't hate . It's a siblings thingy that you can't understand .
I wasn't born with a genius brain . I struggle . The bad thing is . I struggle on the eleventh hour . Gotta admit it , it was worth it but it wasn't easy . No I'm not hardworking . If I am , I won't be studying on the last minute . Some nights I didn't sleep . Others , I only got to close my eyes for a couple of hours . My point is , I'm just like you .
Imperfections . Gosh , I got lots of them . Countless .
But Allah is merciful .
The morning before PMR , my nervous was already on maximum level . I cried in my Subuh prayer , du'a while crying . Asking for His help . Funny thing is , I should have done this since like after pmr . But I didn't . Told you I was a last minute person .
I didn't have my breakfast . I was so nervous my stomach refused to receive anything .
In the hall . Waiting for the announcement . My friends , everyone were at the back of the hall , forming groups of theirs . Chatting and stuff . I just sat there beside mama . Thinking about my results . I can't think of anything else . I was so nervous I almost cry .
I felt my heart beats really fast when the teacher said only 5 people got 9A's out of 12 straight A students . My eyes were watery . I couldn't kept a straight face .
I bit my lips alot . Eyes watery . Legs shaking as the teacher announced the students name one by one . Then there was me . I was the 5th person . The feeling . Ya Allah . I just can't .
I'm not saying that you guys should set me as an example . I don't even do brag .
But know this . I didn't do all of this . It was Allah . It was my parents , teachers and friends . It wasn't literally me .
I only do what I had to . Study .
But what important is , your relationship with God . InsyaAllah He'll help you out .
He will . He did help me out on the days of PMR . You see , I'm a last minute person . I slept for 2 hours then woke up to study until Subuh . That's my routine every exams . But when it was PMR . I did set my alarm clock .
But I didn't woke up.
It happens almost everynight . I was panic . I didn't study the day before how am I gonna answer the papers ?
But Allah always got better plans . He knew I was prepared . I struggle too much on trial . I struggle to get a topic right . He helped me .
He kept me sleep through the nights so I wouldn't feel sleepy on the exams . But there was only one night I woke up . When it was pendidikan islam's paper . He knew I wasn't truly prepared so He woke me up .
Ya Allah . I told you He helped kan ? He was always there . He knew better . What I need and what I don't .
Alhamdulillah . I got 9A's :')
Thanks to my parents , teachers , classmates and friends who always show support .
